in the beginning...

So let’s start at the beginning of the physical relationship… besides, we can’t get to all of the fun stuff if we still haven’t covered all the basics, now can we?

KISSING: most people remember their first kiss even when they don’t remember their first lay. Even more interesting is the notion that kissing a partner on the lips is usually a more profound emotional statement than kissing them below the belt (no matter how much the later might be appealing).

Women who cheat on their husbands find it harder to kiss their hot and sexy pool boy than just screw him. Moreover, when relationships first start to go downhill, the cease of oral to oral action usually signifies the turn of events.

Why is this? Why does kissing play such an important role in our emotional and sexual happiness? Well, one of the reasons is because four of your five major senses are found on the face: touch, smell, vision, and taste (hearing being in the head with your ears, not necessarily on the face like your skin, mouth, eyes, and nose). It’s no surprise that an area so easily stimulated by the different senses would bring such intimacy.

My advice to you? Make out with someone tonight. Make out like you are fifteen again. It is perfectly normal and healthy to just give your tongue a little practice without any thought to the other erogenous zones of your body. In fact, a man usually learns how to pleasure these other zones by practicing with his tongue in your mouth.

If you are ever unsure of how to kiss your partner, ask him/her/himher to kiss you the way that they themselves want to be kissed. Sit back, relax, and revel in the kisses. Not only will you still be getting some playing time, but you will also be picking up some technique pointers to satisfy your other half.

Don’t forget the other parts of the face while spending time on the mouth. The eyelids, ears, noses, foreheads and cheeks are wonderful places to lay your kisses, and don’t forget the inspiration for the term “necking” : the neck (duh).

Want some other wickedly awesome places to kiss? Well today is your lucky day. Through my readings I’ve compiled a list of places that will bring flush to even the most prude of faces.

Firstly, don’t forget the obvious: nipples, mouth, face, blah blah blah. Good places, always reliable, easy to find.

Make sure you try the stomach and the belly button. Now girls, I know this might be hard because almost all of us don’t feel that we look like Heidi Klum. If you are too self-conscious, do it to your man, but I can promise you that self-consciousness is a self-made issue.

The back, lower back, and upper butt areas are great for kisses. It is sensual and sexy, and these kisses can lead to some mad serious foreplay in the lower regions.

According to my favorite book, anywhere that the skin folds will be extra sensitive and a good place to put your mouth. This includes where your knee bends, the inside of your elbow, underneath your breasts, between fingers/toes, behind ears, even armpits (but be careful with the last one).

And though this isn’t a location, I just wanted to bring up the addition of biting. Do it, it’s hot. Now, don’t go all “twilight” on me and bite so hard you leave marks. A light nibble on large muscle groups or a rub of the teeth along nipples or the inner upper thigh is a plus, but drawing blood is never okay. In other words, stop acting like Edward and use your teeth as a tool for arousal, not a weapon.

My last piece of advice? Boys and girls, don’t swallow each other’s faces. Take out the gum for now, and make sure you breathe. Oh, and please swallow… I don’t want to feel like I am drinking your saliva during our make-out session.

Always,
Your Kinseyette

Let me tell you about my friends

Let me introduce you to some of my friends, seeing as they will help me help you and every good relationship starts with a base of mutual character understanding.

Alina, a senior here at Tulane, is the epitome of Girl. Except for that she hangs out with a bunch of boys. Like, all of the time. She’s beautiful but insecure and she has these breakdowns that jolt me so hard I end up depressed by the end of them. She, like many girls, has had bad luck with men on our campus, and as of now she is questioning herself instead of questioning the male student body of Tulane. We buy ice cream for each other and watch bad television. In other words, she’s my best friend.

Kennedy is my year and is one of the most well-liked people on the entire campus. No one has anything bad to say about her, and her laugh is infectious. She, like me, has an affinity for student athletes and drinking at the boot bar at odd hours of the day. She is lovable, kind, and doesn’t mind my brand of beer. OR watching football with me.

Elli is the kind of girl you would expect to see inside the J.Crew catalogue. Its because of this that she is responsible for my sorority looking the best it can. She is funny and loud and laughs so hard she makes everyone else laugh with her. When I first met her I was completely afraid of her. It wasn’t until I realized that she is as human as I am that our friendship began to blossom. She’s a virgin and when I told her about this blog she acknowledged that writing about her non-sex life may be a difficulty. But after thoughtful consideration I have come to the conclusion that non-sex stories are just as, if not more, interesting than those that include wonderful copulation scenes.

Dakota is beautiful, intelligent, and a complete maneater. Don’t get me wrong, If I looked like her I’d go through men two at a time as well. Her problems with men revolve around the fact that she plays games and they fall in love with her instantly. She recently came out of a very long relationship, just to jump right into another one.

Delia is strong, sarcastic, and brutally honest. She is always a good person to have around because if you have something in your teeth or you say something stupid, she will not hesitate to tell you. Never having a relationship in the past, Delia is like a neophyte and all of her experiences with men are new and strange and scary. When I talk about sex I can see the discomfort on her face, but she is always a good sport. She has turned out to be one of my best friends.

Benjy is one of my best friends. After being abroad for a semester, he has come back to Tulane still a southern boy and still a virgin. He is a Christian, and doesn’t fail to preach the gloriousness that is Jesus Christ. Just because he is saving himself for marriage doesn’t mean Benjy doesn’t have fun. He is a brother in a prominent fraternity and Many-a-times I have gotten a late night phone call or a morning-after discussion about the without-sex sexcapades that occurred previously. I am in love with him and he has no idea.

Johnny is my other best guy friend. Student athlete, unbelievable raging flirt, and a borderline alcoholic. He is what I would think I would be like if I were a boy. He spits, swears, makes strange noises, and calls me babe. Most of our nights revolve around hanging out in front of the television, drinking beer and debating the phenomenon of “cum facials.” Our relationship is the kind that might be associated with the brother-sister phenomenon. For me it feels like a coke bottle that is slowly being shaken: sooner or later it is going to explode.

Well, now that you know everything about some of the people I’ll be talking about, there is nothing keeping me from diving into the not-so-secret lives of university students.

Enjoy ☺
Your kinseyette

a late but worthy introduction

So every good relationship is built on a platform of trust and honesty. Because of this, I am going to be, to the discomfort of some, brutally honest.

To start: It’s been about, 35 seconds since I’ve though about sex. And that’s only because I’ve been trying to open Microsoft word on my Mac with 25 widgets running on my dock screen. Honestly, since we are going with honesty right now, I think about sex most of the day. If I’m not thinking about it, I’m reading about it, talking about it, writing about it, doing it (whoa), or watching it on my computer.

“Who is this girl?” You might be asking…. Well, I’ll start with the basics, since no trusting healthy relationship can develop without the basics being known. My name is Kinseyette and I am a sexaholic. No, I don’t mean that I am addicted to the act of copulation, sex, intercourse, doing the dirty dirty or whatever you like to call it. It just means that sex and the mechanics that drive us towards “doing it” fascinates me. It fascinates me to the point that I have decided to dedicate my academic life to understanding the three little letter word that rocks relationships and topples empires.

Sex is more than something you do: It’s something you learn about, something you talk about, something you think about, and sometimes, it’s something that makes you feel really uncomfortable.

Sex is one of the few true equalizers: it knows no race, gender, or socioeconomic status. You can be blonde, a ginger, you can have big feet, small teeth… Even the heaviest recorded man on the earth still reached climax and orgasm, though his sexual partner probably had to do a lot of searching to even find his member.

Every human on the earth, aside from a few unique but completely acceptable and workable exceptions, has the tools necessary to have sex and the proper hormones and chemicals to make the magic happen.

Sex creates life. Doesn’t that blow your mind when you think about it? Sex. Creates. Life. Ponder that, and revel in the beauty that is our bodies.

So, everyone can have sex, everyone’s bodies are made for sex, we all want it, talk about it, dream about it, and complain if we aren’t getting it. Darwin himself would argue that if you aren’t interested in sex, you really shouldn’t be breathing since you’re a failure of evolution. Not to mention “that’s what she said” is the catch phrase of our generation.

So why, I ask, is sex still such a taboo subject in our society today? Why are people so afraid to ask questions to improve their sex lives because they are afraid of what people might think?

That’s where I come in. I, if you haven’t picked up on this already, am not embarrassed nor afraid of sex talk. In fact, in encourage it. I am not afraid to do the research, to ask the questions, or to surf hard core porn sites to find the answer to any question.

For example: did you know that the term “Gonzo” is a term used to describe porn without any plot line? You know, the kind where sex doesn’t happen on the moon or on the president’s desk but in a bed with bad lighting? No silver make-up, no clever name (like Genie in a String Bikini), no nothing but sex. Now THAT is Gonzo! What can I say? You learn something new everyday.

I want to be your liaison into the world of sex and relationships. I want to do the dirty work for you (pun intended) so that you can find exactly what you are looking for.

The truth is that sex is an important part of any relationship, so when I talk about sex I am also talking about relationships. Given, relationships shouldn’t be all physical and there are many generalities about sex that do not transfer to my advice about relationships (i.e. role play is awesome in bed, but outside the bedroom you should not be acting like a naughty school teacher. Unless, of course, you are in fact a school teacher. Who is naughty. Then in that case, go right ahead with yo naughty self). What I will be talking about is friendships, relationships, sexual relationships, and even completely platonic relationships (which, I’ll talk about later, always end up in one party falling in love while the other is blissfully unaware). Through the relationships I observe around me parallels will be drawn between what I study, what I know, and what I see. So turn on your favorite naughty film, light a couple candles, and enjoy the read.