A wonderful surprise

This is an email I got, and I decided I HAD to share this. I hope it touches you like it touched me.


Kinseyette-- I have great news. Possibly the greatest news I've had in a long time. Of course, I told my girls but I wanted to share it with you too.

About a month ago, I was casually dating this guy and everything was... well, fantastic. except one little thing. and its going to sound ridiculous, but I knew things weren't going to work out because he kept telling me how sexy I was. This is something I have never believed to be true about myself. I have never been "sexy" in my entire life; I am always the cute one, or the pretty one, or the one with the great smile. I love being that girl.

When things went south, despite what actually happened, I knew that the sexy issue was at the root and I was the only one who could to fix it. What scared me more was the fact that if i didn't fix it, it could ruin another great relationship in the future. I kept telling myself to email you and ask you what to do, ask you what makes a girl sexy, how do i feel sexy? for some girls its putting on a pair of heels or beautiful lingerie but that has never done it for me -- they just make me feel fun.

I have some of the most beautiful friends, but they are in the same boat too and that's why I'm telling you my little story. Girls -- Sexy is not just a Victoria Secrets Model with 0% body fat, and double D's. Boys say Playboy models and porn stars are sexy, but that's just a fantasy and lets be honest -- we have them too. Those girls are flat on a page, or on the computer. Their isn't any interaction. Sexy isn't about height, or weight or how great your boobs are. I am really tall, not all that skinny and have no boobs. But i have this kind of control. I don't know if I can fully explain it. Someone told me a long time ago that sexy is an attitude, you have to exude sexiness. I did not know what the hell they were talking about. Dancing on Saturday night, it all came to me. I had a great time, and as we all sometimes do, I went home that night with someone I shouldn't have. Usually, I exhibit pretty good self control, but somewhere in my drunken state, I let myself go. Something changed inside of me. We weren't grinding away or anything, but instead, would dance really close and he would spin me all around. I knew him pretty well. He always carried himself like such a tough guy, he's not your love-able, hug-able, squeeze-able guy friend. He's a mans man, beer in hand, football playing guy. But Saturday, he was like puddy in my hand. He wanted it, he wanted me and I was in control -- I was the one who decided what he got. I revealed a different side of him.

All day Sunday, I had the worst hangover of my life. I live my life with no regrets because they don't help anything. Inside my pounding head, I was regretting the night before. That's when the last guy i dated came back to me. Its always the ones with a little bit of sass that get me (and its probably my downfall.) He was always just a little pouty, but if I looked at him just the right way, he cracked the biggest grin, gave me that, "ohgod, I wasn't going to smile but you got me again" look and... well... there went our clothes. At least for me, sexy is my power to melt off that brooding, tough, or sassy exterior with a look, a smile or a kiss. That's when I stopped regretting the night before. I found another part of me.

I feel like a whole new woman. Just living life is a little more fun now. I have always loved to people watch and this just puts a new spin on things. I would also like to note that this is a major step for me. About three years ago, I ended a serious relationship -- but also an abusive relationship and I have really allowed myself to get involved with a guy since then. Maybe that is why, for me, being sexy is about being in control. Its been a long road, some major healing and forgiveness, soul searching and life changes, but I am finally coming into my own. I can't even tell you how excited I am to just go live.

It was about damn time I got out of my rut.
have fun. be fearless.

love, s