Tuesday, January 27, 2009
An email from Chelsea
Hey Kinseyette,
Is it ok to have sex with someone if I only have kissed them? I don't know how long I should wait to have sex with him. I have known him for a year, so it is not like we just met and we have had a flirtation for a year. How long should I wait, or is it even smart to have sex with a friend?
Ps This is for my roomie who is too nervous to write you an email, I love you have fun
SO dear roommate of my dear chelsea... The funny thing about sex is that it is so personal that only YOU can decide when it's appropriate. This is funny because almost everyone thinks sex lives are all made equal and therefor all advice is equally distributable.
When other people get involved, you'll do things for THEM and not for yourself. So take a breath, think for a second, and do what feels right. DONT make the decision to have sex with him amidst a heavy make-out session. Even a mormon could give it up if the hormones are just right. Do your calculus homework or something equally as non-sexual and then think about the pros and cons. Don't think too much, however, because over-thinking is another pitfall.
It's a balance miss, and you just gotta feel whats right. The best part about feelings is that they are never wrong, so you can never regret whichever decision you choose.
Another issue is having sex with a friend. That is a bit trickier than just thinking about the pros and cons since you guys already have a relationship and there's something to be lost. I am a huge fan of talking about a situation, but guys usually aren't into the easy route. So what you should do is feel things out, take the time and hang out. if everytime you hang out you make-out, then there's probably more to this "ship" than just a "friend."
HAVE FUN and don't put to much drama into it. Who knows, maybe the sex will be incredible.
Always,
Your Kinseyette
Is it ok to have sex with someone if I only have kissed them? I don't know how long I should wait to have sex with him. I have known him for a year, so it is not like we just met and we have had a flirtation for a year. How long should I wait, or is it even smart to have sex with a friend?
Ps This is for my roomie who is too nervous to write you an email, I love you have fun
SO dear roommate of my dear chelsea... The funny thing about sex is that it is so personal that only YOU can decide when it's appropriate. This is funny because almost everyone thinks sex lives are all made equal and therefor all advice is equally distributable.
When other people get involved, you'll do things for THEM and not for yourself. So take a breath, think for a second, and do what feels right. DONT make the decision to have sex with him amidst a heavy make-out session. Even a mormon could give it up if the hormones are just right. Do your calculus homework or something equally as non-sexual and then think about the pros and cons. Don't think too much, however, because over-thinking is another pitfall.
It's a balance miss, and you just gotta feel whats right. The best part about feelings is that they are never wrong, so you can never regret whichever decision you choose.
Another issue is having sex with a friend. That is a bit trickier than just thinking about the pros and cons since you guys already have a relationship and there's something to be lost. I am a huge fan of talking about a situation, but guys usually aren't into the easy route. So what you should do is feel things out, take the time and hang out. if everytime you hang out you make-out, then there's probably more to this "ship" than just a "friend."
HAVE FUN and don't put to much drama into it. Who knows, maybe the sex will be incredible.
Always,
Your Kinseyette
Sandi likes it hot
So Sandi, as promised, has decided to update me on some sexcellent events going on with her. Here's the email I got, and I read it with only a slight (aka HUGE) amount of jealousy.
First, friday night I went to this frat and we were just all hanging out, drinking, you know the usual. I was making eyes with this one kid so we decided to go downstairs and do some dirty dancing lol. Next thing I knew we were making out, whatever whatever. We went up to his room at 1:00 and started hooking up. The next time I looked at the clock it was 5:48. I was shocked by the time, but more shocked that HE HAD BEEN EATING ME OUT THE ENTIRE TIME! Not once did I even touch his dick! Time after time he continued to go down on me. I would cum (and made it very obvious), then he would come up, we'd kiss for 2 minutes and then he would go back down. As it got later and later I began to feel exhausted from cuming so much. Literally I must have came at least 8 times!!! I couldn't understand why he didn't even give me a chance to reciprocate the favor. In essence, HE WENT DOWN ON MY FOR FIVE HOURS STRAIGHT!! It was the most amazing five hours of my life. I was so enthralled by his eagerness to please me... yet I couldn't understand why he didn't want anything in return. I later found out that supposedly he has a really hard time getting it up when he's drunk. Is this common for guys? Why does it happen? Does the alcohol effect the bloodflow to the penis?
Alright alright, let's get down to business (if you can pardon the pun). So yay for getting 5 hours of the oral. Most guys and girls who just meet have a tough time getting to that point, either because the girl is afraid of exposing herself or the guy has no idea what to do down there. I'm glad you are both comfortable with your body and that he (obviously) knew what the hell he was doing. Again, the slight ( aka HUGE) amount of jealousy is trying to expose itself.
So on to the whole not-being-able-to-keep-it-up thing... It's called whisky dick, and is WAY more common than we think. Many-a-times when things get hot and alcohol is involved, the make brain cant overcome his BAC. When this happens, don't get embarrassed, it's nature nothing more. Ladies, don't get offended or think he isn't attracted. Men in this situation are incredibly turned on, but the booze just affects their boners. So, if this happens, do what this guy did. Offer to pleasure your partner and in turn you will get pleasure from pleasuring. Oh yeah, I just used the word "pleasure" three times in one sentence. That takes a skill more unique than being able to deep throat, let me tell you.
So in short, if the limp dick is offered and booze have been involved, don't take it personally. Men, don't be embarrassed, just ask for her number and say you'll call her soon. Try again a little (or a lot) more sober, and let the sparks fly then.
In the mean time, enjoy the head :-)
always,
Your Kinseyette
First, friday night I went to this frat and we were just all hanging out, drinking, you know the usual. I was making eyes with this one kid so we decided to go downstairs and do some dirty dancing lol. Next thing I knew we were making out, whatever whatever. We went up to his room at 1:00 and started hooking up. The next time I looked at the clock it was 5:48. I was shocked by the time, but more shocked that HE HAD BEEN EATING ME OUT THE ENTIRE TIME! Not once did I even touch his dick! Time after time he continued to go down on me. I would cum (and made it very obvious), then he would come up, we'd kiss for 2 minutes and then he would go back down. As it got later and later I began to feel exhausted from cuming so much. Literally I must have came at least 8 times!!! I couldn't understand why he didn't even give me a chance to reciprocate the favor. In essence, HE WENT DOWN ON MY FOR FIVE HOURS STRAIGHT!! It was the most amazing five hours of my life. I was so enthralled by his eagerness to please me... yet I couldn't understand why he didn't want anything in return. I later found out that supposedly he has a really hard time getting it up when he's drunk. Is this common for guys? Why does it happen? Does the alcohol effect the bloodflow to the penis?
Alright alright, let's get down to business (if you can pardon the pun). So yay for getting 5 hours of the oral. Most guys and girls who just meet have a tough time getting to that point, either because the girl is afraid of exposing herself or the guy has no idea what to do down there. I'm glad you are both comfortable with your body and that he (obviously) knew what the hell he was doing. Again, the slight ( aka HUGE) amount of jealousy is trying to expose itself.
So on to the whole not-being-able-to-keep-it-up thing... It's called whisky dick, and is WAY more common than we think. Many-a-times when things get hot and alcohol is involved, the make brain cant overcome his BAC. When this happens, don't get embarrassed, it's nature nothing more. Ladies, don't get offended or think he isn't attracted. Men in this situation are incredibly turned on, but the booze just affects their boners. So, if this happens, do what this guy did. Offer to pleasure your partner and in turn you will get pleasure from pleasuring. Oh yeah, I just used the word "pleasure" three times in one sentence. That takes a skill more unique than being able to deep throat, let me tell you.
So in short, if the limp dick is offered and booze have been involved, don't take it personally. Men, don't be embarrassed, just ask for her number and say you'll call her soon. Try again a little (or a lot) more sober, and let the sparks fly then.
In the mean time, enjoy the head :-)
always,
Your Kinseyette
Interesting (red) fact
so did you know that one in every four girls at this exact moment is amidst their (ever so wonderful) period? That's right. 25% of every single girl (of menstruating age) is literally oozing as I type. Pretty interesting fact, eh?
The reason I bring this up is not to make you uncomfortable, though that is an added bonus. It's to make a point, a very important point mind you. This point being that it is time that girls stop being so god damn embarrassed about their bodily functions. Boys can fart and burp and shit in front of one another (and to our obvious dismay, in front of us too) but the second someone brings up the big P or asks for a tampon the whole room goes silent and faces turn red. Why do we do this to ourselves?
You know those commercials, the ones that say "Have a happy period?" Well normally, especially when It is between the 16th and 22nd of each month, I throw something at the television and say LIARS! But after learning the math behind periods, I decided that maybe these pad people have a valid point. Why aren't we happier about our periods? I mean, yeah there are those cramps and the whole blood thing, but seriously, having a period means that you can have a BABY. It means that your body can (and will if given the chance) produce a child, a human baby. I think women sometimes forget how awesome our bodies are.
So here's the deal... embrace your period. It's gross, it hurts, but seriously it's kind of a gift (especially if you think you're pregnant).
OH and one more thing. Since we are talking about periods I thought I'd share another bit of information I learned about TSS. TSS, or toxic shock syndrome, is this vague and ambiguous fear that a lot of girls have when they use tampons. I hear "SHIT! It's been in for 10 hours!" all of the time, mostly from my own mouth.
Though it was originally believed to be true, the belief that tampons are a breeding site for TSS bacteria is a fallacy. This myth came to be believed when the RELY tampon (which used certain synthetic fibers that caused vaginal abrasions) began to be associated with TSS. It wasn't the tampon, it was the fibers. In other words, don't freak out if you forget to change your tampon. Your chances of getting TSS are 1000 times smaller than getting in a car wreck. So breath and don't believe.
Well it was great talking to you :-)
Always,
Your Kinseyette
The reason I bring this up is not to make you uncomfortable, though that is an added bonus. It's to make a point, a very important point mind you. This point being that it is time that girls stop being so god damn embarrassed about their bodily functions. Boys can fart and burp and shit in front of one another (and to our obvious dismay, in front of us too) but the second someone brings up the big P or asks for a tampon the whole room goes silent and faces turn red. Why do we do this to ourselves?
You know those commercials, the ones that say "Have a happy period?" Well normally, especially when It is between the 16th and 22nd of each month, I throw something at the television and say LIARS! But after learning the math behind periods, I decided that maybe these pad people have a valid point. Why aren't we happier about our periods? I mean, yeah there are those cramps and the whole blood thing, but seriously, having a period means that you can have a BABY. It means that your body can (and will if given the chance) produce a child, a human baby. I think women sometimes forget how awesome our bodies are.
So here's the deal... embrace your period. It's gross, it hurts, but seriously it's kind of a gift (especially if you think you're pregnant).
OH and one more thing. Since we are talking about periods I thought I'd share another bit of information I learned about TSS. TSS, or toxic shock syndrome, is this vague and ambiguous fear that a lot of girls have when they use tampons. I hear "SHIT! It's been in for 10 hours!" all of the time, mostly from my own mouth.
Though it was originally believed to be true, the belief that tampons are a breeding site for TSS bacteria is a fallacy. This myth came to be believed when the RELY tampon (which used certain synthetic fibers that caused vaginal abrasions) began to be associated with TSS. It wasn't the tampon, it was the fibers. In other words, don't freak out if you forget to change your tampon. Your chances of getting TSS are 1000 times smaller than getting in a car wreck. So breath and don't believe.
Well it was great talking to you :-)
Always,
Your Kinseyette
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