Tuesday, January 27, 2009

An email from Chelsea

Hey Kinseyette,
Is it ok to have sex with someone if I only have kissed them? I don't know how long I should wait to have sex with him. I have known him for a year, so it is not like we just met and we have had a flirtation for a year. How long should I wait, or is it even smart to have sex with a friend?

Ps This is for my roomie who is too nervous to write you an email, I love you have fun


SO dear roommate of my dear chelsea... The funny thing about sex is that it is so personal that only YOU can decide when it's appropriate. This is funny because almost everyone thinks sex lives are all made equal and therefor all advice is equally distributable.

When other people get involved, you'll do things for THEM and not for yourself. So take a breath, think for a second, and do what feels right. DONT make the decision to have sex with him amidst a heavy make-out session. Even a mormon could give it up if the hormones are just right. Do your calculus homework or something equally as non-sexual and then think about the pros and cons. Don't think too much, however, because over-thinking is another pitfall.

It's a balance miss, and you just gotta feel whats right. The best part about feelings is that they are never wrong, so you can never regret whichever decision you choose.

Another issue is having sex with a friend. That is a bit trickier than just thinking about the pros and cons since you guys already have a relationship and there's something to be lost. I am a huge fan of talking about a situation, but guys usually aren't into the easy route. So what you should do is feel things out, take the time and hang out. if everytime you hang out you make-out, then there's probably more to this "ship" than just a "friend."

HAVE FUN and don't put to much drama into it. Who knows, maybe the sex will be incredible.

Always,
Your Kinseyette

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