Jack... and JILL yelling PHIL!

Jack and Jill are perfect for one another (and I don’t just mean because of their names). They never fight and they seem to bring out the best in one another. The amount a couple fights isn’t always a perfect indication of the health of a relationship, since sometimes people are so afraid of one another that when they do have some serious issues, those issues will not be discussed (which is never a good thing). However, the fact that both Jack and Jill are happy not only on their own, but with each other, means that they have the most successful, fulfilling, and loving relationship possible for them.

That being said, today at lunch I learned a funny story about this power couple. It starts with them having sex, and ends with Jill calling out a name. Not Jack’s name, by the way, but I’m sure you figured that out already. Lets say this other lucky fellow has a name that is Phil, to protect his anonymity (and because Phil obviously rhymes with Jill, keeping the fairytale-like spirit alive). So there was Jack and Jill, mid act, doing their thing, you know, the dirty dirty, when BAM, Jill lets loose a name that is not associated with her boyfriend.

After laughing at choking on my bagel in response to hearing this story, I was able to ask Jack a couple of questions on his reaction. They went along the lines of, “How can you recover from that? What do you do next?!” His responses went along the lines of “You don’t. It was like, alright, see you tomorrow.” In other words, they laughed and lived on.

That got me thinking about the phenomenon of yelling someone else’s name in bed. How does one react to that situation without doing more damage? What causes this sensation? Stereotypically most people would be so thrilled to be having sex that calling out the name of someone you are not in bed with seems hard to do. I have done a little research and have found some personal responses to this very sticky situation. My favorite comes from an anonymous man. His response reflects the event if a man yells out another woman’s name during sex.

“This is a good example of how men if they were completely honest with their girlfriends, would be dumped in seconds. Everyone fantasizes about other people / animals / vegetables / inanimate objects when the lights are off and its completely healthy. Let's face it, having sex with the same person over an extended period of time can become routine and a little mental deviation can add a bit of excitement. I'm sure the first thing all the fellas who watch a Britney Spears video on TV are thinking, 'this is outrageous exploitation of women and I will write a letter complaining about this instant'. I don't think so. They are more likely thinking, 'I hope the girlfriend doesn’t come back too quick from work' and 'where’s the Kleenex'. Men are either pervs or healthy depending on your point of view. If it happens again, have a sense of humor, don’t doubt yourself so much, the guy is with you not her, and give him a slap and tell him if it happens again you will get the cuffs and whips out!! I'm sure that will improve things no end.”

That being said, so I agree with this anonymous male’s opinion? Some of it, yes. I do agree that sometimes sex lives get old and that mental fantasies are a healthy alternative, but that is rarely the case in college students just starting out on their sexual adventurousness.

My opinion? Sometimes brains “fart,” and its no surprise this happens doing something that is so physical and not so intellectual as sex. When you let your thinking brain go and let your body do the talking, there is nothing keeping random thoughts from bursting through your mouth.

How do you deal with it if your partner calls out someone else’s name? Well, firstly, if you can laugh it off then do it. If it is a first time/one time bit, there is nothing to worry about. Do me a huge favor and don’t assume your partner is cheating on you with the person he/she named. The start of accusations is the first sign of a failing relationship. By accusing her you are showing your partner that you don’t fully trust her. Moreover, if you don’t trust her completely, then how can you expect her to trust you?

If every time your partner reaches climax they yell out their bosses name, you may want to consider couples counseling or at least a very serious talk. Again, don’t make sudden accusations, especially mid-copulation, but there is a reason for the continuous outbursts so you should try to figure it out TOGETHER.

If you can’t finish sex after “the event,” don’t worry. Men are sensitive and sometimes after something like this happens, they just cant, well, deliver the way they normally can. The same goes to women, especially because our own personal mental control is what helps us ease into climax to begin with (and alternatively if we are distracted, a successful orgasm is even harder to achieve).