Awkward but informative: tips on vaginal health

So before I begin, I should probably explain some basics about the vagina. Firstly, when people refer to the vagina, they are most likely meaning to describe the vulva. The vulva is what you see from the outside, while the vagina is the inner tubing that the penis goes into and the baby comes out of. The vulva consists of a clitoral hood, the clitoral glans, the labia minora, labia majora, vaginal opening, and the mons pubis.

Wikipedia “vulva” and you will get some very graphic photos of the vulva and all it’s parts, including examples of the shaven and au natural vulva. Very interesting to look at, though I don’t get the point of the real-life photos as opposed to the normal drawings we have seen our whole lives. Not to mention I can’t even imagine how many early-pubescent boys have used that same Wikipedia page to not only explore the female vulva for the first time, but to explore themselves. But enough about that.

One way in which girls have the whole sex organ bit worse off than boys is that the female genetalia is much more likely to get infected than its male counterpart, also known as the penis. So I’ve compiled a couple of hints to keep you (and your kitty) happy and healthy.

Firstly, basic hygiene needs to be observed. That doesn’t mean, however, that you should be washing down there five times a day. In fact that is the opposite of what is suggested by gynecologists. Your vulva should be cleaned with soap once a day at the MOST. You should only use a bland bar or low Ph soaps on your down there area, and never use perfume, lotions, body washes or even shampoo as a special-spot cleanser. When washing your hair, lean over so there isn’t any run off in between your legs. If you don’t have any low Ph soap, just use water. Your vulva and vagina are excellent at cleaning themselves so don’t mess around with the natural flow of things (if you pardon the pun) by putting harsh chemicals on your sensitive areas. Moreover, NEVER scrub down there. It’s hard to change the notion that our sweet spots should be squeaky clean, but to ensure a healthier sex life, some new changes should be taken in stride.

Another act of personal hygiene that is imperative to good vulva health takes place during a different in-bathroom ritual: always wipe from front to back (you KNOW what I am talking about). Butt germs have no business being around your vulva, so don’t let it happen. Also, don’t use baby wipes or powders when you are done doing your thing. The less irritation to the area the better. If god intended your vajayjay to smell like jasmine or pine, you would have a jasmine plant and a pine tree growing out from between your legs.

I shouldn’t even have to say this, but I will just in case you haven’t gotten the memo. Do NOT douche. The chemicals are unbelievably harsh and abrasive and they damage your vulva and vaginal walls. The only time you may douche is if you are just ending your period and you are about to have sex, but do so with just warm water and without the chemical additives.

This may make a few people feel uncomfortable, but it is now my duty as a sex writer to talk about, well to put it bluntly, smells. Ladies, you know what is normal and what is not. Both men and women have sweat and apocrine glands embedded in their genatalia and when the owner of said genetalia experiences stress, the glands release some olfactory surprises that may not be pleasant. It is normal for vulvas to smell musky, it is not normal for them to smell bad. So if you experience some odors that are not normal, it may be time to make that dreaded but needed appointment with your gynocologist.

One common and mostly unknown cause of certain smells (that is completely normal) is what happens when a sexual relationship first begins. As his junk gets used to your junk, sometimes new and unexpected smells can be experienced. Don’t worry, its nothing bad and it is in no way a precursor to a bad relationship. Our bodies just need to get used to one another and this is one sign of that acclamation.

Now that we have gone over basic hygiene, it’s time we turn to how you dress your now clean lady bits. In our day and age, the panty line show is a fasion faux pas that few people can get away with without criticism. It is because of this that thongs are all the rage. Many people, when the choice is between wearing a thong, a pad, and going commando, usually choose the thong or putting a pad inside their pants sans underwear. I am here to tell you that both of those choices are not as good at the third: please please ladies, if contemplating the choice, go commando. Thongs are very abrasive and actually tear up the vulva. Pads tend to trap in moisture and they irritate the vulva as well.

Going commando is prescribed for many women, especially those prone to yeast infections. By sleeping without underwear and letting your lower parts breathe, you increase circulation to the area and in turn, increase the health of your sex trove.

If you can’t go commando, wear 100% cotton underwear. Don’t be confused by nylon underwear with cotton crotches because they trap moisture regardless. If you wear pantyhose, try using the thigh high models that keep your v-spot free and airy. When you wash your underthings, use mild, unscented soap and detergents. Don’t use dryer sheets on your underwear because they deposite a filmy residue that can be rubbed off onto skin.

Now that you know how to clean, dress, and all-together take care of your most sensitive and special place, turn the lesson into practice and take your panties off.

Always,
Your Kinseyette