This is an email I got, and I decided I HAD to share this. I hope it touches you like it touched me.
Kinseyette-- I have great news. Possibly the greatest news I've had in a long time. Of course, I told my girls but I wanted to share it with you too.
About a month ago, I was casually dating this guy and everything was... well, fantastic. except one little thing. and its going to sound ridiculous, but I knew things weren't going to work out because he kept telling me how sexy I was. This is something I have never believed to be true about myself. I have never been "sexy" in my entire life; I am always the cute one, or the pretty one, or the one with the great smile. I love being that girl.
When things went south, despite what actually happened, I knew that the sexy issue was at the root and I was the only one who could to fix it. What scared me more was the fact that if i didn't fix it, it could ruin another great relationship in the future. I kept telling myself to email you and ask you what to do, ask you what makes a girl sexy, how do i feel sexy? for some girls its putting on a pair of heels or beautiful lingerie but that has never done it for me -- they just make me feel fun.
I have some of the most beautiful friends, but they are in the same boat too and that's why I'm telling you my little story. Girls -- Sexy is not just a Victoria Secrets Model with 0% body fat, and double D's. Boys say Playboy models and porn stars are sexy, but that's just a fantasy and lets be honest -- we have them too. Those girls are flat on a page, or on the computer. Their isn't any interaction. Sexy isn't about height, or weight or how great your boobs are. I am really tall, not all that skinny and have no boobs. But i have this kind of control. I don't know if I can fully explain it. Someone told me a long time ago that sexy is an attitude, you have to exude sexiness. I did not know what the hell they were talking about. Dancing on Saturday night, it all came to me. I had a great time, and as we all sometimes do, I went home that night with someone I shouldn't have. Usually, I exhibit pretty good self control, but somewhere in my drunken state, I let myself go. Something changed inside of me. We weren't grinding away or anything, but instead, would dance really close and he would spin me all around. I knew him pretty well. He always carried himself like such a tough guy, he's not your love-able, hug-able, squeeze-able guy friend. He's a mans man, beer in hand, football playing guy. But Saturday, he was like puddy in my hand. He wanted it, he wanted me and I was in control -- I was the one who decided what he got. I revealed a different side of him.
All day Sunday, I had the worst hangover of my life. I live my life with no regrets because they don't help anything. Inside my pounding head, I was regretting the night before. That's when the last guy i dated came back to me. Its always the ones with a little bit of sass that get me (and its probably my downfall.) He was always just a little pouty, but if I looked at him just the right way, he cracked the biggest grin, gave me that, "ohgod, I wasn't going to smile but you got me again" look and... well... there went our clothes. At least for me, sexy is my power to melt off that brooding, tough, or sassy exterior with a look, a smile or a kiss. That's when I stopped regretting the night before. I found another part of me.
I feel like a whole new woman. Just living life is a little more fun now. I have always loved to people watch and this just puts a new spin on things. I would also like to note that this is a major step for me. About three years ago, I ended a serious relationship -- but also an abusive relationship and I have really allowed myself to get involved with a guy since then. Maybe that is why, for me, being sexy is about being in control. Its been a long road, some major healing and forgiveness, soul searching and life changes, but I am finally coming into my own. I can't even tell you how excited I am to just go live.
It was about damn time I got out of my rut.
have fun. be fearless.
love, s
Monday, April 6, 2009
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
"You don't have to dress up for it"
It has come to my attention in the last 24 hours that a few of my good friends (who are girls) have never masturbated to the point of orgasm before. This, to me, is not only shocking but also unbelievable for college-age women.
Men, I am sorry to leave you out of this, but it is pretty much inevitable that unless you have consciously attempted to abstain from masturbation you have in fact whacked yourself off. Don’t be offended; it’s just the truth.
Ladies, before I even start, I need to say this: How can you expect a man to do it if you have never even tried? You can’t assume a guy is going to go through all that work if you never took the time to do it yourself. So my question now is: why aren’t your hands down your pants right now?
Plain and simple, there is nothing but healthiness associated with masturbation. Yes, it’s true that Kellogg’s corn flakes were invented by Sir Kellogg to prevent young boys from masturbating. Don’t believe me? Do your own research and you will find that I am anything but fully on top of the truth. For years and years masturbation was seen as a negative thing, a way for people to have seizures, warts, diseases, everything from blindness to hyperactivity. It is now known that the only bad thing that can come from chronic masturbation is a blister and an unwavering smile.
Truman capote once said that masturbation is great because “You don’t have to dress up for it,” and that is the truth. To start, if you never have, make sure you’re naked. Using a mirror might help at first but after a while you aren’t going to want to look at all your bits all the time. So get down there, check yourself out, and revel in the beauty that s your baby maker. That’s right lades, baby maker.
Your clitoris is located under your clitoral hood. This is the spot, your locus, and the area that will bring about your orgasms. Make sure you understand this part of you, every single part of this part, as one day you might have to show your man where it is.
What next? Well that is completely up to you. If toys are your thing check our drugstore.com as a discrete way to buy and receive sex toys. Make sure you get a toy with clitoral vibration or stimulation, as that is how you are most likely going to reach orgasm.
If machinery isn’t your thing, use your hands. Use lubrication and use circular motions. You want to directly stimulate your clitoris constantly and with enough pressure that orgasm is reached. How will you know you reached orgasm??? Well, let me just say that you can’t miss it.
Most women need to be warmed up. Reading erotic stories online or watching porn will most assuredly help. I know, it may seem strange and weird reading about other peoples love trysts, but before you know it you will see that “Eric” can heat you up just as much as he does to “Amber.” Porn is hard to watch at first, and if you don’t like it, don’t do it. Whatever works for you (like watching Zac Effron or Rob Pattinson in their movies) do it. You will not have a successful masturbatory session if you aren’t turned on.
So don’t be embarrassed, its natural. Not to mention recent studies show that women who can reach climax on their own efficiently are WAY more likely to reach it with their partner. Practice makes perfect in more than just your reading, writing, and arithmetic. Do the math, and don’t forget about your clit.
Always,
Your Kinseyette
Men, I am sorry to leave you out of this, but it is pretty much inevitable that unless you have consciously attempted to abstain from masturbation you have in fact whacked yourself off. Don’t be offended; it’s just the truth.
Ladies, before I even start, I need to say this: How can you expect a man to do it if you have never even tried? You can’t assume a guy is going to go through all that work if you never took the time to do it yourself. So my question now is: why aren’t your hands down your pants right now?
Plain and simple, there is nothing but healthiness associated with masturbation. Yes, it’s true that Kellogg’s corn flakes were invented by Sir Kellogg to prevent young boys from masturbating. Don’t believe me? Do your own research and you will find that I am anything but fully on top of the truth. For years and years masturbation was seen as a negative thing, a way for people to have seizures, warts, diseases, everything from blindness to hyperactivity. It is now known that the only bad thing that can come from chronic masturbation is a blister and an unwavering smile.
Truman capote once said that masturbation is great because “You don’t have to dress up for it,” and that is the truth. To start, if you never have, make sure you’re naked. Using a mirror might help at first but after a while you aren’t going to want to look at all your bits all the time. So get down there, check yourself out, and revel in the beauty that s your baby maker. That’s right lades, baby maker.
Your clitoris is located under your clitoral hood. This is the spot, your locus, and the area that will bring about your orgasms. Make sure you understand this part of you, every single part of this part, as one day you might have to show your man where it is.
What next? Well that is completely up to you. If toys are your thing check our drugstore.com as a discrete way to buy and receive sex toys. Make sure you get a toy with clitoral vibration or stimulation, as that is how you are most likely going to reach orgasm.
If machinery isn’t your thing, use your hands. Use lubrication and use circular motions. You want to directly stimulate your clitoris constantly and with enough pressure that orgasm is reached. How will you know you reached orgasm??? Well, let me just say that you can’t miss it.
Most women need to be warmed up. Reading erotic stories online or watching porn will most assuredly help. I know, it may seem strange and weird reading about other peoples love trysts, but before you know it you will see that “Eric” can heat you up just as much as he does to “Amber.” Porn is hard to watch at first, and if you don’t like it, don’t do it. Whatever works for you (like watching Zac Effron or Rob Pattinson in their movies) do it. You will not have a successful masturbatory session if you aren’t turned on.
So don’t be embarrassed, its natural. Not to mention recent studies show that women who can reach climax on their own efficiently are WAY more likely to reach it with their partner. Practice makes perfect in more than just your reading, writing, and arithmetic. Do the math, and don’t forget about your clit.
Always,
Your Kinseyette
Juicy New STORIES
Helloooo everyone! Just though y'all should know that I am up and updating, so if any of you have any questions, comments, concerns, please feel free to email me at xxxxnoochxxxx@mac.com. Everything is 100% anonymous and contractually I will never reveal anything you don't want me to.
So dig deep (but don't hurt yourself) and send me anything you've got
Always,
Your Kinseyette
P.S
The image below is real video footage found of two people literally having sex on a freeway. Just thought I'd share :-)
So dig deep (but don't hurt yourself) and send me anything you've got
Always,
Your Kinseyette
P.S
The image below is real video footage found of two people literally having sex on a freeway. Just thought I'd share :-)
Friday, March 13, 2009
One more chart
Let me just say that condoms are more than just something to blow up as balloons at a bachelorette party. They should be used every time for as long as you don't want to be pregnant OR diseased. STD's are more volatile now more than ever, and sometimes your partner doesn't even know that what they have is a STD. Sometimes his balls itch, how is he supposed to know that he actually has a male HPV or herpes? Not everyone understands infection and not all infections are immediately understandable. So do yourself and your junk a favor and wrap it before you use it. Okay?!
This chart shows the prices of condoms in different countries and cities. Just something to think about.
Always,
Your Kinseyette
This chart shows the prices of condoms in different countries and cities. Just something to think about.
Always,
Your Kinseyette
normalcy please
Here is an email I just got:
What about stupid, awkward boys? Can we talk about that? The ones that avoid you for absolutely no reason, even after you've leveled the playing field. ... they suck. I'm sorry I couldn't go home with you ONE night. ONE. But when I return the question and you've moved on, I call that even. No hard feelings. Stop being awkward. I DON’T CARE. Why do they think we care so much after it's obvious we're even? I kicked your ego. You kicked mine; let's go back to normalcy, PLEASE!
Children, it has finally come the time to talk about relationships. Yes, you heard me; we are going to delve into some of the more idiot moves of the men and women who are trying to find happiness together.
Girl, it seems to me like there are some serious misunderstandings going on right about now. You didn’t go home with this guy one night and now that awkward stage of what-the-fuck-are-we-friends-or-can-we-still-try-this-going-home-thing is occurring all around you.
Firstly, you are completely correct, his ego has been shit on. IT ISN’T YOUR FAULT! People need to learn to deal with rejection and bounce back from it, especially when it comes to dating and relationships. If we get hung up on every rejection we will never get anywhere. Look at you! You have bounced back. He is the one who is deflated on the floor.
Men, if a girl turns you down once, don’t assume that this means she is never going to want to go home with you or that she doesn’t want to spend that very night in your bed. I mean, don’t get me wrong, please don’t ask her over every night or stalk her at the palms, but you never know what is really going on in her life right now. There may be a complication or drama that you don’t even want to remotely get involved in and she is trying to spare you from it. All of this goes for you ladies as well. Both men and women need to think from the perspective of the other to help everyone understand what the fuck is going on.
So he moved on, you moved on, and things aren’t normal because…? It’s incredibly difficult sometimes for some people to deal with embarrassment. For me personally, it’s probably the hardest thing to get over. It seems from what you have told me that he either is playing a game with you or he has an issue with the embarrassment associated with rejection.
You got to think if he is going to take something that miniscule so seriously, then maybe he had some sort of feelings towards you. If that was the case, give him time and space to get over it. It is always way harder to deal with things when feelings are hurt.
And now on to the games we play. Games are old and outdated, yet we all feel the need to play them constantly. It was only a few short weeks ago that Dakota told me not to text a boy so that I can play one of these games with him. What did I end up doing? I called him. I walked back to my room and I called him. I made my own rules. Was she right? Well, as of right now this boy and me are in no way dating, but I don’t thank that has to do with my calling patterns.
Since the release of the book, film, and copycat publications of “He’s just not that into you,” women and men alike are realizing that games are becoming more and more painful and destructive. Yes, there is a time when being coy or keeping secrets is cute and adorable, but eventually you just have to admit you have a crush and let yourself either fall in love or get kicked in the ass and left on the curb. Either way you have an ANWER and the AWKWARDNESS that is a close cousin of SILENCE has no way of existing.
If he is playing a game with you, don’t play back. It is only a matter of time before he gets off his high horse and starts walking beside you again. You just have to let him know, in your own personal way, that you haven’t nor will you ever use anything against him. In other words, you have to have him realize that you really don’t care. How do you do this? Act normally around him. Send him a text, have him meet you for lunch somewhere. Talk about normal things and show him that there IS INFACT a friendship to salvage. If it’s worth it, it’s worth it.
If that doesn’t work, let him know somehow that everything really is okay. That normalcy can be achieved. My advice, in short, is talk. Communicate. You don’t ever have to bring up the rejection or the subsequent reversal of the table, you can start a new chapter right here, right now. Start a new book if you want, just start over.
Anything else let me know, and keep me updated.
Always,
Your Kinseyette
What about stupid, awkward boys? Can we talk about that? The ones that avoid you for absolutely no reason, even after you've leveled the playing field. ... they suck. I'm sorry I couldn't go home with you ONE night. ONE. But when I return the question and you've moved on, I call that even. No hard feelings. Stop being awkward. I DON’T CARE. Why do they think we care so much after it's obvious we're even? I kicked your ego. You kicked mine; let's go back to normalcy, PLEASE!
Children, it has finally come the time to talk about relationships. Yes, you heard me; we are going to delve into some of the more idiot moves of the men and women who are trying to find happiness together.
Girl, it seems to me like there are some serious misunderstandings going on right about now. You didn’t go home with this guy one night and now that awkward stage of what-the-fuck-are-we-friends-or-can-we-still-try-this-going-home-thing is occurring all around you.
Firstly, you are completely correct, his ego has been shit on. IT ISN’T YOUR FAULT! People need to learn to deal with rejection and bounce back from it, especially when it comes to dating and relationships. If we get hung up on every rejection we will never get anywhere. Look at you! You have bounced back. He is the one who is deflated on the floor.
Men, if a girl turns you down once, don’t assume that this means she is never going to want to go home with you or that she doesn’t want to spend that very night in your bed. I mean, don’t get me wrong, please don’t ask her over every night or stalk her at the palms, but you never know what is really going on in her life right now. There may be a complication or drama that you don’t even want to remotely get involved in and she is trying to spare you from it. All of this goes for you ladies as well. Both men and women need to think from the perspective of the other to help everyone understand what the fuck is going on.
So he moved on, you moved on, and things aren’t normal because…? It’s incredibly difficult sometimes for some people to deal with embarrassment. For me personally, it’s probably the hardest thing to get over. It seems from what you have told me that he either is playing a game with you or he has an issue with the embarrassment associated with rejection.
You got to think if he is going to take something that miniscule so seriously, then maybe he had some sort of feelings towards you. If that was the case, give him time and space to get over it. It is always way harder to deal with things when feelings are hurt.
And now on to the games we play. Games are old and outdated, yet we all feel the need to play them constantly. It was only a few short weeks ago that Dakota told me not to text a boy so that I can play one of these games with him. What did I end up doing? I called him. I walked back to my room and I called him. I made my own rules. Was she right? Well, as of right now this boy and me are in no way dating, but I don’t thank that has to do with my calling patterns.
Since the release of the book, film, and copycat publications of “He’s just not that into you,” women and men alike are realizing that games are becoming more and more painful and destructive. Yes, there is a time when being coy or keeping secrets is cute and adorable, but eventually you just have to admit you have a crush and let yourself either fall in love or get kicked in the ass and left on the curb. Either way you have an ANWER and the AWKWARDNESS that is a close cousin of SILENCE has no way of existing.
If he is playing a game with you, don’t play back. It is only a matter of time before he gets off his high horse and starts walking beside you again. You just have to let him know, in your own personal way, that you haven’t nor will you ever use anything against him. In other words, you have to have him realize that you really don’t care. How do you do this? Act normally around him. Send him a text, have him meet you for lunch somewhere. Talk about normal things and show him that there IS INFACT a friendship to salvage. If it’s worth it, it’s worth it.
If that doesn’t work, let him know somehow that everything really is okay. That normalcy can be achieved. My advice, in short, is talk. Communicate. You don’t ever have to bring up the rejection or the subsequent reversal of the table, you can start a new chapter right here, right now. Start a new book if you want, just start over.
Anything else let me know, and keep me updated.
Always,
Your Kinseyette
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