I have a quick warning for all of you sexual adventurers who have found that the girl-on-top position is the position most likely to bring about the female orgasm. My warning is to both partners, and involves the potential permanent damage to the penis. That’s right, boys I bet you are listening now: heed this warning or risk a broken bone. And by bone I mean boner. Oh yes, boner.
Injuries resulting from sexual intercourse can cause a penis to bend permanently in a strange way. Most of these types of occurances happen during the girl-in-top (both forward and reverse) positions.
Urologists who deal with these injuries have a few suggestions to prevent having to make an appointment with the ER. Firstly, lots and lots of lubricant should be used. The more slippery the area, the less likely it is that the penis-to-vagina friction will end up with a oops-I-slipped-off-you-and-brought-your-dick-with-me experience.
The girl should also restrict her up and down motion. Many a time a lady has come home too hard and missed the target. Try doing a more of a rocking or rubbing movement. Circular movement enhances sensation on both the female g-spot and clitoris, so that’s a must-try for any couple. You can also try putting a pillow under the man’s hips so that his partner can have more access to his pelvis and in turn, his penis. Also, ladies, squeeze your vaginal muscles (like trying to stop peeing). Its enjoyable for your partner and forces his penis to be tightly held inside of you.
In other words, be careful and use other techniques to get off. And remember, have fun ☺
Always,
Your Kinseyette
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Monday, February 9, 2009
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Not quite about sex...
... But helpful nonetheless. These are 12 rules for life, picked up while I was stumbling today. Enjoy!
1. Never give yourself a haircut after three margaritas.
2. You need only two tools: WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn't, use the tape.
3. The five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship are "I apologize" and "you are right."
4. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
5. Never pass up an opportunity to pee.
6. If he/she says that you are too good for him/her - believe them.
7. Learn to pick your battles; ask yourself, "Will this matter one year from now? How about one month? One week? One day?"
8. When you make a mistake, make amends immediately. It's easier to eat crow while it's still warm.
9. If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance!
10. Living well really is the best revenge. Being miserable because of a bad or former relationship just might mean that the other person was right about you.
11. Work is good, but it's not that important. Money is nice, but you can't take it with you. Statistics show most people don't live to spend all they saved; some die even before they retire. Anything we have isn't really ours; It's on loan to us while we're here ...even our kids.
12. And finally...Be really good to your family and/or friends. You never know when you are going to need them to empty your bedpan
Always,
Your Kinseyette
1. Never give yourself a haircut after three margaritas.
2. You need only two tools: WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn't, use the tape.
3. The five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship are "I apologize" and "you are right."
4. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
5. Never pass up an opportunity to pee.
6. If he/she says that you are too good for him/her - believe them.
7. Learn to pick your battles; ask yourself, "Will this matter one year from now? How about one month? One week? One day?"
8. When you make a mistake, make amends immediately. It's easier to eat crow while it's still warm.
9. If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance!
10. Living well really is the best revenge. Being miserable because of a bad or former relationship just might mean that the other person was right about you.
11. Work is good, but it's not that important. Money is nice, but you can't take it with you. Statistics show most people don't live to spend all they saved; some die even before they retire. Anything we have isn't really ours; It's on loan to us while we're here ...even our kids.
12. And finally...Be really good to your family and/or friends. You never know when you are going to need them to empty your bedpan
Always,
Your Kinseyette
Monday, February 2, 2009
Safe sex has never been so much fun!
Use a condom during sex, always. Anal, oral, with vegetables, anything and everything should be approached with caution and safety. If you are in a dry spell, buy condoms and store them in a nice dry cool play just in case there's a flood on the way. And if you don't end up gettin' any, you can always do this:
All I want... Is HARRY
So Kennedy and I have been talking about men lately (What else is knew). I’ve been dealing with Dean and the fact though he is devastatingly handsome he is a complete asshole. She has been trying to change her “type” from the beefy football players (who in her experience are also compete assholes) to a kinder, gentler type. Both of our issues have the exact same source. The source being that while we chase the ideal of man, we are missing out on the real adventures waiting by the wayside. The same goes for men, too. Sorry boys, there isn’t enough blonde-haired big-boobed sex bombs to go around the entire male population.
To help back up the following entry, I am going to give you a little background on the relationship between Charlotte and Harry from Sex and the City. By explaining their relationship I am going to draw a parallel to my dream man. Holler to Wikipedia for helping me explain Harry in perfection.
So Charlotte has been married to the perfect man Trey. He’s perfectly handsome, perfectly wealthy, and he has a perfect case of impotence. They argue over everything, their sex life is slowly dying, and Trey’s mother is taking over the marriage bed, literally (see episode when bedding is chosen). Eventually Charlotte realizes how truly unhappy she is, and it was time to procure a hasty divorce.
Harry Goldenblatt is Charlotte's divorce lawyer. Although Charlotte is initially repulsed by Harry's constant sweating and somewhat odd appearance and behavior, she ends up sleeping with him when Harry confesses his attraction to her. She tries to keep their relationship strictly about sex but, soon after, she gets attached. Charlotte converts to Judaism to appease Harry's requirement that he can only marry a fellow Jew, but soon ends up ruining the relationship in a fit of anger by telling him that she's embarrassed to be seen in public with him because he is conventionally unattractive. After several weeks of bad blind dates, Charlotte bumps into Harry at the local synagogue singles' night and admits her wrongs, professing her deep love for him. Harry is touched and proposes to Charlotte on the spot. Harry and Charlotte marry in a traditional Jewish ceremony. They explore their options of having children, with Charlotte at one point becoming pregnant followed (shortly) by a miscarriage, which emotionally devastates her. Finally, in the series finale, they are approved to adopt a girl from China named Lily.
The thing about Harry is that no he isn’t perfect, he isn’t beautiful, and he isn’t even able to control his sweat glands. He’s bald, chubby, but he’s completely and irrevocably in love with Charlotte. Their sex life is banging (literally) and they can’t keep their eyes off one another.
Harrys don’t have to be bald, chubby, or sweaty. In fact, they can be stunners and perfectly sculpted. The definition of a Harry is a man who loves, who doesn’t care if he looks like an idiot when he’s outside your window at 2am throwing rocks at your window in Phelps. A Harry is a man who will tell you you’re beautiful, even if it’s in front of the baseball team. A Harry is the kind of man you want to spend the rest of your life with, not just someone to spend that one night with.
Why is it, that in a world of change and acceptance, there aren’t more Harrys? Why are there not more men and women who will love without pain or consequence? Kennedy is the kind of girl who would love with every part of her, and she does on a daily basis. She has so much to give, and she gives selflessly. All I want in the world is a Harry for her; someone who will love her no matter what and whom she will return the favor. One day she’ll find her Harry, and we’ll look back at this post and laugh like old ladies recollecting their days playing shuffleboard with (gasp) men in shorts.
So ladies, take a step back and look around yourself, you may find a Harry to love. Men, find your inner Harry: it isn’t bad, it isn’t hard, and you might just find out that you’ll find love.
Always,
Your Kinseyette
To help back up the following entry, I am going to give you a little background on the relationship between Charlotte and Harry from Sex and the City. By explaining their relationship I am going to draw a parallel to my dream man. Holler to Wikipedia for helping me explain Harry in perfection.
So Charlotte has been married to the perfect man Trey. He’s perfectly handsome, perfectly wealthy, and he has a perfect case of impotence. They argue over everything, their sex life is slowly dying, and Trey’s mother is taking over the marriage bed, literally (see episode when bedding is chosen). Eventually Charlotte realizes how truly unhappy she is, and it was time to procure a hasty divorce.
Harry Goldenblatt is Charlotte's divorce lawyer. Although Charlotte is initially repulsed by Harry's constant sweating and somewhat odd appearance and behavior, she ends up sleeping with him when Harry confesses his attraction to her. She tries to keep their relationship strictly about sex but, soon after, she gets attached. Charlotte converts to Judaism to appease Harry's requirement that he can only marry a fellow Jew, but soon ends up ruining the relationship in a fit of anger by telling him that she's embarrassed to be seen in public with him because he is conventionally unattractive. After several weeks of bad blind dates, Charlotte bumps into Harry at the local synagogue singles' night and admits her wrongs, professing her deep love for him. Harry is touched and proposes to Charlotte on the spot. Harry and Charlotte marry in a traditional Jewish ceremony. They explore their options of having children, with Charlotte at one point becoming pregnant followed (shortly) by a miscarriage, which emotionally devastates her. Finally, in the series finale, they are approved to adopt a girl from China named Lily.
The thing about Harry is that no he isn’t perfect, he isn’t beautiful, and he isn’t even able to control his sweat glands. He’s bald, chubby, but he’s completely and irrevocably in love with Charlotte. Their sex life is banging (literally) and they can’t keep their eyes off one another.
Harrys don’t have to be bald, chubby, or sweaty. In fact, they can be stunners and perfectly sculpted. The definition of a Harry is a man who loves, who doesn’t care if he looks like an idiot when he’s outside your window at 2am throwing rocks at your window in Phelps. A Harry is a man who will tell you you’re beautiful, even if it’s in front of the baseball team. A Harry is the kind of man you want to spend the rest of your life with, not just someone to spend that one night with.
Why is it, that in a world of change and acceptance, there aren’t more Harrys? Why are there not more men and women who will love without pain or consequence? Kennedy is the kind of girl who would love with every part of her, and she does on a daily basis. She has so much to give, and she gives selflessly. All I want in the world is a Harry for her; someone who will love her no matter what and whom she will return the favor. One day she’ll find her Harry, and we’ll look back at this post and laugh like old ladies recollecting their days playing shuffleboard with (gasp) men in shorts.
So ladies, take a step back and look around yourself, you may find a Harry to love. Men, find your inner Harry: it isn’t bad, it isn’t hard, and you might just find out that you’ll find love.
Always,
Your Kinseyette
My favorite from the superbowl
I think i love this the most because I feel as if this has happened to so many people. Take the time me and Alina went on an adventure trying to find porn to send to Dean while he's in Iraq, for example. After three weeks of searching wal-marts and Targets we finally find some good skin mags at the Circle K. The cashiers judged us, however, and asked us to step away from the nudy mags. All in a day's work :-)
always,
Your Kinseyette
always,
Your Kinseyette
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